On FOMO and Curating
I think I was born with intense FOMO— fear of missing out. There are so many things I want to learn and do, places I want to go and people I want to meet. Sometimes, this leads me to overfill my schedule and run on the “urgent” schedule. Basically, whatever urgently demands my attention is what receives it. So if I overcommit and people come over after a full day of work, my children don’t receive the attention they need. Even worse, sometimes what calls out “urgent” to my mind might be hiking (you know, before the short Montana summer ends) before laundry (which will just replenish itself indefinitely).
I am not a victim of my circumstances, however, and it’s up to me to curate my life better. There are a hundred good things you and I could do with out time. Thankfully, the Bible says that God gives us wisdom when we ask for it in faith. Do I have faith? Do I trust that I’m not missing out if God guides me to say no to things? Do I slow down long enough to ask him for wisdom?
Sometimes I do this consistently well. Recently, not so much. It’s so complicated! Not the slowing down to ask, but the way that things just get piled on. I desperately want to have my fiction published and I do think God has laid that desire on my heart. But in order to publish, you’re expected to have a social media presence, a website and collect a gazillion e-mail addresses. This is just the writing arena. Let’s not mention the farm, flower biz, church plant, loving my “neighbors”, making disciples and raising four wildlings. Oh and eating. I forget about food all the time.
On the farm, there are always animals that are not beneficial to the long-term health of the flocks and herds. For instance, I have a sheep that prolapses when she lambs, crawls every fence that doesn’t electrocute her and gives less than mediocre wool. For sanity’s sake as well as the genetics I’m passing along, she has to be culled.
In the same way, everything in my schedule bears fruit whether good or bad. Some things are an obvious waste of time (good-bye Facebook app) while others require more discernment. How much time should I spend being creative before I’m neglecting my family? How much time can I spend outside before my gardens become an idol?
I’m sure you have your own struggles with time/focus stewardship. What does your ideal day and week look like? Are you letting the God who made you and works in your strengths and weaknesses determine that? As I’ve pondered these questions, I’ve thought back to a post I wrote early last winter. (Read the whole post here.) In Montana, it can be hard to love 8 solid months of winter. But at the end of last year I was reminded that winter is when we get to enjoy the fruits of our summer labors. We get to rest and enjoy the abundance. I’d encourage you to peek at that post while you consider how you use these fair-weather days. There is value in work and there is value in play. There is value in stepping back and taking a look at the work of God’s hands and our own and enjoying that “it is good.”
For me, though I need to use better discernment regarding how much time I spend hiking, gardening, painting, writing and marketing, the former (enjoying nature) fuels the latter. They all (except marketing, which I would happily delegate along with the cooking) feed my tank for loving my family and others that God brings along. I think it’s important to create sacred rhythms (habits with flexibility) that are continually restoring our should for beautiful things, both work and play.
Since I’ve been in a season of over-doing, I have lots of fun pictures to share. Art projects, hikes, farm scenes… If you follow me on social media, you’ve probably seen some of these. But I thought I’d add a little gallery for you all to enjoy. Maybe it will inspire your to create rhythms of sacred slowness that will bear lovey fruit in your life. Feel free to use the hashtag #sacredslowness to share glimpse of your intentional rhythms.
